improv-a-ganza?

Hey guys! Sorry about being MIA-ing, been so fucking busy lately. Well, not that busy, but just being lazy to update my blog. Nothing interesting actually happened in my life, so I came here to blog about something else.

Do you guys miss this show?

It's about a panel of four performers & comedians create characters, scenes & songs on the spot, in the style of short-form improvisation games. Topics for games are based on audience suggestions or subjects by the host. The show takes the form of a game show, in which the host arbitrarily assigns points & randomly chooses a winner at the end of each episode.

And they cancelled it due to poor ratings? Well, they are now back!

The show is call 'improv-a-ganza'

-Similar to Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Drew Carey's Green Screen Show, the show features the performers acting in improvisational comedy sketches in front of a live audience using audience suggestions and audience participation. Many of the U.S. Whose Line alumni return for this show. Each episode consists of three or four improv games, each one introduced by a different cast member, with each game taking up an entire segment. Unlike Whose Line, the show is filmed at the MGM Grand Las Vegas in Paradise, Nevada. Instead of Drew Carey hosting and awarding "points", Drew is now a performer and takes part in games, and other performers take turns in "hosting" a game.

I'm gonna upload episodes 1-5 here on my blog. Hope you guys enjoy the show! I watch the show because of Colin and Ryan. They are funniest and I love to see Colin's poker face. HAHA.

EPISODE 1

EPISODE 2

EPISODE 3

EPISODE 4

EPISODE 5

FOR MORE EPISODE CLICK HERE! http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE006B8C50E5469FB&feature=plcp

PEACE OUT BITCHES!

WHY DO WE HAVE TO QUARREL/FIGHT/ARGUE IN SINGAPORE?

Hey guys, I'm here to blog about our wonderful Singapore again. Yes, I'm being fucking sarcastic. My weekends were spent entirely on clubbing and drinking and I think I will have to cut down on the drinking if I don't want to have my fucking liver explode or some shit. Anyway, I'm here to talk about the different types of quarrels/fights/arguments in Singapore these days. A lot of teenagers, these days, of course, seem to be so angst all the time? I mean, it's okay to be angst, I mean who wouldn't be so piss off if you were to live in a fucking small tight country and the temperature is just like in hell. But whatever yeah, they seem to be angry all the time. Guys and girls are the same. Worse, if the girls are like having their PMS or some whatever shit. It's like a fucking bleeding vagina incredible hulk.

Moving on, the first type of fights that are really common here in Singapore is

1) The 'Let's be so vulgar at each other'.

This has got to be the funniest fight ever. It's like they are having a debate but instead of using some structured perfect, sophisticated english, they use words like 'CCB, KNN, KANASAI, PUKIMAK, DULAN LA' or whatever crap you can think of. If you were to ask me, I'm not quite good at this actually. HAHA.

But the hell with it, this fight can be so fucking tense, you can see it in their eyes (when they are fighting) that they want to punch the fuck out of each other face, but instead of punching the other person first, they taunt each other so that the person who punch FIRST, is at blame. STANDARD PROTOCOL. But it's kinda funny la, to see all kinds of words/ vulgarities to be thrown at each other. You might learnt something from them actually. I'm serious.

(Re-enactment of the fight) (Based on true event)

Guy #01 - EH, CIBAI, SEE WHAT SEE LA. SEE YOUR MOTHER LANJIAO LA.

Guy #02 - Eh fuck what la, CIBAI, NOT HAPPY COME HERE LA. KANINA CCB LA.

Guy # 03 - Eh you don't HUMJI LA. YOU COME HERE LA. YOUR BALLS AT YOUR THROAT AH? LU BANYAK BAPOK LA.

and this continues until someone gets tired of shouting or running out of words. It's hard to be a middleman in these fight, because at some point of time, you will have the tendency to laugh.

Another types of quarrels in Singapore is

2) The 'fucking annoying bus driver'

This quarrel ALWAYS HAPPENS TO TEENAGERS. I MEAN WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT IT IS VERY COMMON TO SEE TEENAGERS QUARRELLING WITH BUS DRIVERS. I mean, to me it's stupid. Usually they will quarrel about stupid stuffs like never pay enough bus fare or the guy who is arguing with the bus captain was like trying to protect his girlfriend or whatever shit. I saw some article about some guy quarrel with a bus driver about some girl I think. I MEAN WTF?! SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! But sometimes, bus captain should calm their tits too, I mean, I remember once that I put 90cents inside the tab and the bus driver was like "eh boy, no, no, no. 1.10" I mean like are you serious?! It's just 20 cents?! Are you that fucking cheap?! Do you have to collect my 20 cents to pay for your petrol or some shit?! Shit, before I get out of hand, I just wanted to say that, this happens quite a lot in Singapore. haha.

Here's are some article.

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/941228/bus_driver_forced_student_to_pay_adult_fare.html

I mean, some bus drivers are friendly and kind. Don't get me wrong. Most of them are friendly, I mean there's no point to quarrel with each other right? I blame the teenagers as well. They have to calm their balls first.

3) Lastly, it is very common to see foreigners fighting with the locals.

I'm not trying to be racist or bias or anything, but I can't stand it when we are quarrelling over such small things. Quarrelling over seats or whatever crap la. But it's fucking funny, to see them quarrelling. I mean, I can't understand what they are trying to say, whether they are scolding or shouting. But having to see the foreigners arguing with the locals really somehow amused me.

That's enough for today. I'm not promoting fights or quarrels or anything, but I just wanted this pointless motherfucking things to stop. What's the point of fighting and arguing? Why can't we live peacefully? Why am I being so patriotic? FUCK THIS SHIT. I'M SIGNING OUT. BYE BITCHES!

Survival Guide For Clubbing

It's kinda obvious that most of us need some guidance when it comes to clubbing, I mean even for myself. But after been realising the fact that clubbing is like going into a forest to hunt or get hunted, either way, you're fucking screwed. But please do take note NOT to take this shitty article seriously, I mean there are some people who are desperate to get laid BIG TIME. CALM YOU BALLZ GUYS. (I can guarantee that IT WON'T HAPPEN)

1) IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE, GTFO.

Don't be wasting your time trying to figure out how to get in, or borrowing IC from your friend unless you know someone from the club's management or you are friends with the DJ. Other than that, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT STEPPING INTO THE CLUB. Because first of all, if you can't manage to go in, you will be bringing your friends down as well.(Those who are legal and have to fucking think of a way to help you get inside. Getting an under-age into a club is like breaking out from the prison. You have to fucking plan everything. "What if this plan failed? Do I have a plan B? What if that plan failed too? Why not I just flash my boobs to the bouncer?" So people who are >18, just wait for your turn to come alright? I waited for my turn. Everybody has to wait for their turn.

2) Only got 20 bucks?! NO PROBLEM!

Lots of teenagers nowadays love to club. I mean like if they don't have the money, they'd still club. You might ask, "What's the point of clubbing when there's no money?" - THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE. At the end of the day, you might just have a huge debt for borrowing your friend's money. (Which you won't have any fucking intention to pay at all) But this is not the case, you have to be smart. Usually, 20 bucks are not enough to go clubbing, trust me. You need to bring at least 100+ bucks (drinks, cab, food, condoms or basically whatever shitless things) BUT 20 bucks may just be enough for you if you are smart enough to handle the expenses at clubs.

If you were have to bring 20 bucks to club because of (insert any useless piece of crap excuses you can think of) and you MUST go clubbing to celebrate your best friend's birthday or your mom's birthday (I don't give a fuck), you have to follow all these steps.

-GO IN BIGGER GROUPS

This is very effective. You will have to pay less for drinks, less for cabs, basically less for anything.

-GET A GUESTLIST

You have to have you name on the guestlist. There's no point bringing 20 bucks just to pay for the cover charge right? WORST, IT MAY NOT BE FUCKING ENOUGH TO COVER YOURCHARGE (pun intended). So you need to have a guestlist. Usually the birthday boy/girl will open a bottle in the club and your name can be on the list. If not, just stay and watch porn or go masturbate or something.

-BUY DRINKS OUTSIDE OF CLUBS

It's common sense ya NOT TO BUY DRINKS IN CLUB if you are in short of cash. Even a retard with an IQ of 7 should know this. Buy drinks outside of clubs. For an example, buy drinks from MAMA SHOP or basically some shop that sell fucking cheap liquor (Holiday Inn). It really saves you ALOT of money, plus, you came with a big group of friends, so you only have to contribute a few bucks.

-(OPTIONAL) TREASURE HUNT

This is optional, If you are dancing on the dance floor in club, MAKE SURE TO KEEP CONSTANTLY LOOK ON THE FLOOR TO SEE IF ANYONE HAS DROP THEIR WALLETS OR HANDPHONE. IT IS YOUR CHANCE TO TAKE THAT FUCKING THINGS OUT OF THE CLUB. Don't get caught doing it though. If you do get caught, you must be the 2% retard that have been reading my blog.

*WARNING, THESE GUIDELINES IS 100% GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL RUIN YOU LIFE MISERABLY, IF YOU LIFE HAS ALREADY RUIN, FEEL FREE TO TRY IT BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A FUCK.

One direction always trending in Singapore?

First of all, I hope that this post doesn't offend anyone in Singapore, especially the raging hormones teenage girls here living in Singapore. But what's with One direction always trending on Twitter in Singapore? Don't get what I mean? I'll show ya,

Here are SOME 1D trends on twitter:

-#1DBRITSFACTNo4

-#sandylikesoldies

-#harrystyles

-#1DlovesCanada

-#1DCuteFact

and many more of other shit that has NIALL OR ZAYN OR HARRY OR 1D OR ALL OF THE COMBINATION ABOVE.

I mean seriously people? I know that they are cute/hot/megahawt/zaynhot/sexy/cutezxc or whatever you girls think or imagine of them, but can you guys like CALM YO TITS ABIT? JUST ONE BIT? I know that you teenagers girls can't control your hormones over this hot fags or anything, I mean I can't even control my hormones if I were to see a hot megan fox's body or a Jennifer Lopez's ASS.

See what I mean? I know how you girls feel, but you girls don't have to let everyone knows about your highly unprofessional obsession over ONE DIRECTION. But isn't it too much if you guys like making them feel like they're taking over twitter?

Do you like it if WE GUYS trend about boobies and stuff? I don't think so right? I know you girls would wanna wank to Zayn Malik or Harry Styles or whatever that dude name is, why don't you trend your sex fantasies over ONE DIRECTION. It's much more entertaining for people who doesn't give a fuck about cute and hot guys on twitter.

So please, please, please for the sake of humanity, enough of 1D tweets. It's okay if you guys like trend it 1/4 of the the Twitter Trends BUT NOT LIKE 3/4 OF THE TWITTER TRENDS. that's just insane. I'm sorry for being a jerk or what but it does not only occur to ONE DIRECTION fans only. It occurs to KPOP fans. Don't let me start on KPOP fans. KPOP fans is the worst.

One after another, they might as well call it KPOP trends. SHINEE this la, BIGBANG that, SUPER JUNIOR this la. FUCKING DULAN LIAO. chill ladies. IT'S FINE, but don't do it all the time alright? Dont take this post to heart, it's just a rant and I couldn't care less about what you think about me. But before I signed out from this post, let me show you a pic or two of these 'hot guys' alright? ;)

(PS; MOST OF THEM LOOK LIKE GIRLS WITH SHORT HAIR, I FUCKING SWEAR)

STOMPID ASSHOLES

This is a segment where I will give my opinions and crap to some of the Stomp's posts. To be honest, this is my first time that I do actually gives a shit. I mean like, STOMP is the most stupidest websites ever. I know people has been going there for updates on SG or for some entertainment or some irrelevant news. But please, go buy yourself a fucking newspaper if you want to read some REAL news and not just crap. Is people are just stupid or what?

For an example, you guys ready? HAHA.

(Look at this first post here)

STOMPer Tangmond says he recent;y received a $100 note that appears to have been cut closer to the potrait of Yusof Ishak at the top than normal

According to the STOMPer the note seems normal in all other respects, other than the fact it appears to have been misaligned during cutting.

Said the STOMPer:

"I happened to see this $100 bill in my wallet and noticed something strange about it.

"Did you notice the difference between these two $100 bills?

"Please take a good look at the top of the note. The line above the word 'Singapura' on one of the notes is higher than the other.

"I guess the person who cropped the note did not align it properly.

"I've forgotten where I got this bill from, but I think it should be fine to use it."

Well, apparently, this STOMPer guy is quite stupid actually, right? Why don't he just stop wasting his fucking time and stomp this piece of shit article and went to the bank instead and ask them what the fuck happened to his 100 dollar bill right? INSTEAD, this FAGGOT went to complaint it on STOMP. When you post something on STOMP, you have to wait for it for 2-3 days before it went online. I mean, why would he do such a thing wasting his time like that. Maybe he's some 40+ year old guy that still lives with his mum perhaps? Or just showing off his 2 100 dollars bill. Fucked that, wanna see what other 'CITIZENS' comment about it?

Comments:

"Another retarded Stomper with no life to speak of whatsoever."

"Check with a bank or Police, Everything on a legal dollar is precise. Maybe this is fake?"

"My god... Like this also wan to stomp..."

HAHAHAHA. IDIOTS AT ITS BEST.

Take a look at this next posts. See the similarity?

THEY BOTH ARE NOT FROM SINGAPORE!

I mean why would these kind of posts will be under the 'SINGAPORE SEEN' Category. Shouldn't it be under 'I couldn't give a fucking damn about it' Category?! It's just goes to show that STOMP is such a lame website BUT it's fun to make fun of it don't you think so? I'm going to make this a regular segment on my blog.

Moving on, if you would like to see more idiots on action, visit here : http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/

OR

You can wait till my next post about 'STOMPID ASSHOLES' comes out.

BYE BITCHES!

Zirca/Rebel March Listings 2012

So the Zirca/Rebel March Listing 2012 has been released, so everyone take your time from the busy schedule and it's time to party!!

(For a bigger version of this shit click here: http://www.facebook.com/zircaclub and click 'like' on the page)

Here's an advised from Dr Greg.

(I know you can't see shit, so here's the link http://9gag.com/gag/2822450)

I'm going to Zirca/Rebel tonight for the Wednesday Lollipop event with my friends and I can't wait to party after all my papers were officially finished! FUCK YEAH BITCHES. But I'm kinda in the fucked up mood as well, because I can't smoke and drink due to the extraction of my wisdom tooth. ARGH! FUCK MY LIFE, DAMN IT. Oh, and about the weather here in Singapore. It's so mother fucking HUMID! FUCKING HOT LA AT NIGHT CCB. Can't even sleep. And my stupid cat keep sleeping on my leg and I can't move shit.

Moving on, I hope you guys have a fantastic day ahead, and if you guys want any guestlist for the Zirca/Rebel events, do follow me on Twitter. ;) (except for Lollipop Weekdays & Weekends).

So bitches, I'mma signed out for now. Enjoy your fucking life. (no pun intended)

Wisdom tooth, Y U NO GIVE ME WISDOM BUT PAIN INSTEAD?!

Hey guys, it's been a really really really long time since I've start updating my blog. So here it is, I'm back BITCHES! So for these past few years was nothing really. Just same old shit. But what I'm gonna talk about is about my WISDOM TOOTH. SHIT THAT THING HURTS! THAT MOTHER FUCKING TOOTH REALLY SWELL MY GUM AND IT SWELLS REAL GOOD, TO THE EXTENT IT LOOK LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING BALLOON.

I mean it's funny, well to me it is, because it's called 'WISDOM TOOTH' and it ain't giving me shits about wisdom at all but instead give me an unbearable pain! Have you bite your tongue before? Well you will feel as if you are consistently biting your tongue over and over again! FUCK!

Moving on, I went to call up the Greenlife Dental Clinic to make an appointment and as you all know that I can't really talk due to the swelling of the gum, so the conversation went like;

Me: Harrow, Greenwife Dental kwinic?

Receptionist: I'm sorry?

Me: Greenwife Dental Kwinic??

Reception: Erm, it's Greenlife Dental Clinic -.-

Bitch, you have got to know that the reason I called you is because I want to see a dentist and why? BECAUSE MY TOOTH HURTS BITCH AND THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T SPEAK PROPERLY, DUMBASS.

I think she's a PRC here because when I reached there, her face CMI.

Moving on, while I reached there, I still have to wait for another few mins. -.- (CB, make appointment still have to wait)

While I was waiting, there's this screen that shows how the wisdom tooth is removed. While I was watching the video, I swear I'M SHITTING BRICKS. THAT WAS THE MOST REALISTIC VIDEO (it was animated though) I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND IT JUST SCARE THE SHIT OUTTA ME MORE!

DAFUQ DID I JUST WATCH?

So I wait and wait, and around 15 mins later, this doctor or dentist (wait what do we call a teeth doctor? ahh, who gives a shit) called my name. Well his name is Dr Seah. VERY VERY FRIENDLY GUY. Told me about the procedures and shit. The surgery wasn't that pain. But the painful thing about the surgery is when they have to inject the needles into your gums to give you the numbness shit. Fucking pain. tsk

After the surgery, Dr Seah told me to wait outside till the receptionist bitch called my name to give me the medicines. She called my name and explain to me which medicines to take and shit but all I heard from her while staring at her gigantic racks was this

"BLA BLA BLA THIS, 3 TIMES. BLA BLA BLA THIS, 2 TIMES. BLA BLA BLA THIS, CUM ON ME TWICE.."

Which made me snap back into reality and just smiled back at her. There were lots of medicines. Wanna see it. I'll show ya..

PS; the white thing is not cocaine or any kind of shit. It's just a cotton thingy that put inside your mouth to prevent the blood from coming out and shit, I dont know, I'm not a doctor.

The bill was quite expensive though, but mum used her medisave account to pay for it. It costs around S$850 just to extract a tooth. Damn fucking expensive right? Well, that's all for today, maybe I'm going to Zirca Lollipop tomorrow. I don't give a shit about my tooth, well I do actually, but my friends are all going and I don't want to miss out the fun. I sound gay. Whatever, you guys wanna see the 'WISDOM TOOTH' (extracted tooth)

Well

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Here

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It

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Is BITCHES!

Fucking gross.

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U MAD BRO?!